Modesty

Some define modesty as a freedom. The freedom from vanity or conceit. I define modesty as a prison. A justification for confinement, specifically applied to women.

Modesty is cultural. It is the regard for decency of behavior, speech, dress, etc. In many places decent dress means a woman must cover her bare flesh and sometimes even her face and hair. Decent behavior means she stays inside. Decent speech means she keeps quiet. A woman's actions risk not only stigmatizing herself, but her entire family. She bears the weight of shame her whole life.

This isn't just in conservative societies. To quote Lil' Kim (yeah, that's right, I'm quoting Lil' Kim) "Here's something I just can't understand; If the guy have three girls then he's a man; He can either give her some head, or sex her raw; If the girl do the same, then she's a whore."

I'm tired of feeling like I can't wear shorts below my knees in stifling heat, while men don't even have to wear a shirt. And when I do wear "revealing" clothing, I'm tired of men interpreting it as an invitation. I'm tired of hearing stories from 40-year old Senegalese women who can't walk around alone at night because her in-laws will accuse her of being scandalous, while her husband works in Paris, doing whatever he pleases in the wee hours. I'm tired of never seeing another female jogger on the road. Not once in my two months, while men jeer at me.

I'm tired of modesty. I no longer feel that cultural relativity can explain away this perpetual inequality. Decent behavior should simply be to respect others regardless of what they are wearing or who they are having sex with. Women everywhere are on display. This judgmental theater is suffocating